How will I get through another day?

Sometimes I wonder, "How will I get through another day?"

It is at these times that I catch myself walking out the door down the long drive outside. I have walked this walk hundreds of times since my late husband passed away in '06. At these times, when I feel most vulnerable, exhausted, and plum used up, I look up to the heavens and catch myself muttering, pleading, "God, be enough ... please God, just be enough!"

I never feel the earth rumble under my feet. I don't hear a voice in my head telling me everything will be okay. I don't feel satisfied or that anything has changed. Yet, somehow, there is a release when I cry out to him. I let out a long breath in a sigh, look up at the house, and brace myself for the next chapter of my life.

One thing this little ritual has done for me, is allowed me to throw all of my sorrows, my worries and woes, to a something that is out there, that is much bigger than you or I. That something is a person, of sorts, that I have grown very close to and very fond of. I call him my Lord. He is my heavenly father, my Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, all wrapped up in an entity that I choose to call God.

How sweet it is to realize that I don't have to carry my own burdens. When I just don't know what else to do, I do what I do best and should always do first ... I roll it over to him. He is enough, by golly! He is that substance of things I know exists, though I can no more see it than I can the air that I breathe or the heart that beats within my own body. Yet, not seeing these things doesn't mean they are not real. In fact I must believe, I choose to believe, that he cares for me, he loves me, and that he is assuredly enough!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

jumbledpieces

Scattered jumbled pieces
Strewn about and all around
Like a giant jigsaw puzzle
Fallen pieces on the ground

Try to put them all together
It's impossibly complex
Seems like pieces never fit
They seem twisted and perplexed

Pick the pieces out by color
So very many different hues
Pinks, purples, shades of taupe
Greens, brown, fuchsia, orange, and blues

Pick them out by lines and angles
But the lines are never straight
Crooked, jagged, wavy, broken
Too complicated to translate

Pick them out by shapes of objects
Oh so many, all confused
All gets jumbled more than ever
Tattered pieces often used

Pieces worn by many passersby
Trying to figure out and sort
The pieces that looked appealing
Pretty pieces they would court

But oh so many crumbled pieces
Never was the picture whole
Much like an anguished spirit,
No peace or comfort for the soul

So the pieces, though they were pretty
No one could bring them all together
So the puzzle got thrown out
The thing endured all sorts of weather

The pieces, they laid scattered
Under sunshine, snow, and sleet
Good for nothing, left in pieces
The picture never made complete

Until one day God looked from heaven
For a small piece called up to Him
The piece was tattered, faded, soiled
Its colors spilled and ugly, lines were dim

But as the Lord picked up the piece
That had called unto His name
He saw that the piece was the very center
A broken heart that was in pain

The Father breathed upon the piece
Then He rubbed it to His cloak
The piece triumphantly shouted
The fragments from their slumber woke

They looked unto the Father
They bade Him take them too
He picked up the broken pieces
In His hand they became new

Each piece that had been weathered
Forgotten, neglected, and abused
Instantly became strengthened
His love no longer they refused

As they basked, refreshed and joyous
Taking in the brightness of the Son
He gently placed each transformed piece
Making all parts become as one

The puzzle is no longer jumbled
No longer a puzzle, but now a story
For the Master embraced the pieces
For His pleasure, for His glory

The whole surely understands
What it is like to be rejected
It can sympathize with shattered pieces
Knows what it’s like to be neglected

It longs to reach out to help others
It seeks pieces that are broken, used
For it can take them to the Father
No not one will He refuse