How will I get through another day?

Sometimes I wonder, "How will I get through another day?"

It is at these times that I catch myself walking out the door down the long drive outside. I have walked this walk hundreds of times since my late husband passed away in '06. At these times, when I feel most vulnerable, exhausted, and plum used up, I look up to the heavens and catch myself muttering, pleading, "God, be enough ... please God, just be enough!"

I never feel the earth rumble under my feet. I don't hear a voice in my head telling me everything will be okay. I don't feel satisfied or that anything has changed. Yet, somehow, there is a release when I cry out to him. I let out a long breath in a sigh, look up at the house, and brace myself for the next chapter of my life.

One thing this little ritual has done for me, is allowed me to throw all of my sorrows, my worries and woes, to a something that is out there, that is much bigger than you or I. That something is a person, of sorts, that I have grown very close to and very fond of. I call him my Lord. He is my heavenly father, my Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, all wrapped up in an entity that I choose to call God.

How sweet it is to realize that I don't have to carry my own burdens. When I just don't know what else to do, I do what I do best and should always do first ... I roll it over to him. He is enough, by golly! He is that substance of things I know exists, though I can no more see it than I can the air that I breathe or the heart that beats within my own body. Yet, not seeing these things doesn't mean they are not real. In fact I must believe, I choose to believe, that he cares for me, he loves me, and that he is assuredly enough!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

I bid thee, sweet slumber, come to me Take me, blanket me within your arms Nothing but darkness Nothing but quiet Though peaceful I long for sleep, for sweet bliss To slumber, to dream, to drift sweetly away For this body is aching, it needs to find rest I long for nothing but sweet release Comfort, peace, and quite stillness The downy comforter awaits As does a stuffed pillow of fluff Sweet fragrance of soft sheets And lavender scents Yet my mind holds on to consciousness It seems to be fearful I know not what of Oh, God Will you help me I know that you can Will you allow me to find rest for my soul Will you cover me with grace, envelope me in love Will you whisper kind words to me? Assure me you’re here Then all will be well Then I shall find rest

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